All About Alex



Have you ever heard the phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none"? My entire biography can be summed up by this quote from Robert Greene when referring to Shakespeare. In many ways, I am very similar to Shakespeare, in that no one knows what I'm talking about and people are bored by me easily. But anyway, back to the matter at hand; my Bio.

In order to avoid going to jail for the next 10 years for Tax avoidance, legally, I am the digital marketing executive at UKSwimwear, whilst also continuing my apprenticeship in digital marketing, after leaving the dark Hellhole that people only say in hushed, frightful whispers; "Sixth Form"! What is digital marketing, you may ask? I would also like to know that.

I believe in hard work, dedication, and stick-to-itiveness, and my boss is definitely not reading this. This is my belief, and my own only, I swear no one has forced me to say this.
In my spare time, I generally don't move from my computer seat. In fact, my lack of movement has become so much, it has formed a small black hole, which scientists are baffled has not destroyed all life as we know it. I'd say that makes me a hero.

Although my hopes and dreams were shattered a while ago, one day I hope to break the shackles of the concept of work, and live the rest of my days as a wise old hermit in the desert, giving sage advice to young travellers who come across my path. Either that, or maybe get a pay rise. Whatever comes first. Why you're reading the biography of an 18-year-old on a retailing website, I do not know, but leave the page and go buy some products. Hurry up now, go on! Love, yours truly, Alex xxx